My 20th birthday! It's still raining endlessly outside the windows.

But I am home, finally.

And I feel happy, finally.

So it's been one year since i first came here. Time really flies!

Within this year, there re things that remain the same, like I still write an okay kind of English and still speak it awfully. Or I'm still fat and short and cannot wear high heel shoes no matter how many times I've tried. But there are many things that have changed. Better or worse, I don't know! I just know for sure that I've changed, deep inside me, I ve changed - to a different person. I've tasted the most profound loneliness. I've learnt how to take care of myself, for instance, cook my own meals and eat them all no matter how bad they taste. Half of my dreams were broken. Half are still alive. I've learnt to face this world confidently, saying white lies to make others feel comfortable. I'm so bad at it. But I'm learning.

My eyes are worse because of heavy use of computer. Now I can't even read big signs on the street without wearing glasses. And yes, I no longer see this world so wide and wonderful as I saw when I'm 18. I've seen tons of people wearing nice dresses and driving gorgeous cars but also not less people trying to find the smallest things that they might take from the trash bins. At this point, I think I'm lucky enough. That's what life is. It's not fair and we get used to it.

Well, maybe I'm really getting more mature - which I've always wanted to become but never had an idea of how bitter it turns out...
To put all the fairy tales behind.
To be an adult.